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People can do worse things than kill you.

The years passed and he lost track of how many, but there were still days when he woke with her name on his lips. Her last words rolling around in his brain while he moved to sprawl in a chair with a joint between his fingers.

It wouldn’t numb anything, but it was a distraction. The same way the nights spent battling were, pushing his body to its limit and tiring himself out until nothing mattered anymore. It was the closest thing to normal he’d felt in a long time. The only way to shut his mind off because Jas was so done with thinking. Done with the memories, the cold truth of what could have been and what never would be.

For every new face he met he wondered if this would be it. The moment that something finally clicked and the wound woulds stitch close. He might not ever forget her — his best B. The one person who’d gotten him so completely and never judged. Who’d loved him, even (or maybe especially) when he was reckless or silly. When he was stupid and didn’t know how to find the right words. Maybe he’d never have that again.. but he might find peace in a new persons smile, find hope in the way they laughed.