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emergencia (de emerger)

Choosing was tortuous. His reluctance had always been there, since he was a little boy who got paralyzed when he was forced to pick one —and only one— option. The demand, no matter how good-naturedly it was phrased, constrained around his throat like a boa wrapping around its prey, suffocating, leaving him no choice but to fight it off, rebel against it.

That attitude attached new names to his tender skin: stubborn, greedy, difficult. It awoke a burning desire to be able to fit in, to do what he was supposed to. But how could he made a final choice when his opinions and desires remained impermanent, fleeting as whims? Cosmo didn't hold within himself the weight of definitive thinking; he'd avoided that plague.

The voices disregarding his passions as distractions, claiming he had to focus on —and only on— acting, insisting there was no room for theatre for a movie star; they were all ignored. Later, he found singing and dancing allowed him to play with his voice and body at whim; philosophy helped him understand different realities better; the languages he spoke made it easier to jump from one accent to another; it all enhanced his performance. Even the months spent on one more theatre play didn't seem to take its toll given how scripts kept piling up on his desk.

In his defiance, he found himself.

Cosmo took a lazy look at the report his agency had sent, pages and pages of research to decide the next best move for his career. A spike in anxiety cut his breath at the prospect, yet soft hands came to his rescue, freeing him from the disarray of his thoughts. Sparks at the touch, without fail. Once again, he ignored the outside world: deep down he knew the decision was made days ago, the second a particular script made his stomach flutter. His gut instinct never failed, after all.



Olvidé lo que no he de hacer,
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